‘From now on, just pick up your own kid’: Freeloading mom gets shut down after taking advantage of the kindness of a fellow mother

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Feb 10, 2024 9:00 AM EST

They say it takes a village to raise a kid. Sometimes your village consists of a gaggle of helpful aunts and uncles, and for some, their kiddo's grandparents are involved. Family aid isn't always an option for everyone, so for some, their village relies on the kindness and promises of fellow parents. Parents lean on their friends in times of need, but once they burn you and the safety of your child is at risk, some heads are going to roll– and your 'village' might be down a member.

In our next story, a dutiful mother decidedly followed the friendship of her daughter's bestie, hoping to find the same kinship in the girl's mother. However, after making a promise at the beginning of the school year to alternate carpool shifts, OP noticed her partner in crime was acting more like a notorious freeloader on a group project. Keep on reading to know more about all the details of how this mommy partnership unraveled– prepare for a story including a knee injury, a lot of vehicular miles, and one, solid mom-to-mom burn.

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    r/Amlthe MaybeLive2011 e. 1 day ago AITA for "breaking a promise" and not taking a kid home everyday? Not the First, TA account because my main has a lot of identifying things about me if someone where to snoop through it. Note: All names are fake.
    via MaybeLive2011
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    My daughter, Daisy (12), made friends with Dee (13) two years ago. Thick as thieves. Dee's mom, Bee (36?) is a single mom and struggles. When the girls started middle school, we learned the bus wasn't available to them. Walking or driving them to school is required.
    via MaybeLive2011
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    The OG plan was for Bee to drive the girls to school in the morning and I would pick them up; however, that plan fell through at the start of the year, so I did both pick up and drop off for several months. Eventually, Bee started driving Dee to school in the morning again, but never bothered to honor our OG deal, so I still took Daisy in the morning and did pick up after school for both.
    via MaybeLive2011
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    Bee is also very demanding and needy. It has gotten to the point, anytime my phone dings from a FB message, my SO will ask "what does she need/want now?!" It's become a weekly thing, with times being a daily thing. I've helped where I can, but a lot of her asks are wild. "I need money for food." "Do you know anything about x, y, or z?" (I've never given her money but have helped with giving her a old phone, with the promise it'd be returned when she got a new one. She returned it, alright, compl
    via MaybeLive2011
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    Last bit of context that is important: I am currently 5 months pregnant, suffered a knee injury when my dog decided to hide behind me by trying to go through me. Also, my kid walking home alone from school is a big NO because she would have to cross two major roads that have like 10 lanes each (3 lanes each side, 2 left turn lanes/2 right turn lanes) and people in my city seem to think red lights are optional.
    via MaybeLive2011
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    The issue: My car decided to just stop going vroom on my way home from picking up my son. Luckily, we were close enough to the house he was able to push it to our driveway, but left me unable to leave again to pick up the girls. I called Bee, begging her to pick up the girls just once as a favor, but she replied, "No, I can't. Figure it out." Tried calling my SO, but he was either in meetings or at PT.
    via MaybeLive2011
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    So I walked. Took me over 40 minutes to get there with my knee. By the time I got there, SO had gotten off work, so he offered to pick us up at the park next to the school. Was a semi warm day, so wasn't a huge issue.
    via MaybeLive2011
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    But Daisy told me that Bee came to pick up Dee. So obviously she could get there no issues! I was , so I messaged her and told her, "From now on we should just pick up our own kid. You couldn't do me one favor in my time of need after I have helped you out with so much."
    via MaybeLive2011
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    Bee blew up on me, saying I was "breaking a promise" even though I never promised It was just a deal. Daisy and Dee aren't really friends much these days. Daisy says the only time they talk is when they are in my car and at school, Dee acts like Daisy doesn't even exist. So, AITA? I feel bad cause she struggles, but I feel used at this point.
    via MaybeLive2011
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    aladin03 • 1d ago Partassipant [1] NTA dude and just block her. She is just using you at this point and I can't see how you're benefitting from this relationship at all. I hope you get well soon.
    via aladin03
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    Doktor Seagull • 1d ago Aficionado [15] ΝΤΑ If she wants to call it a promise, then she already broke it long ago. She's asked you for countless favours and gotten them, despite the ire it's causing you in your relationship. Then this one time you ask her for something and it's too much trouble for her. To pick up a child... Standing right... Next... To... Her... Child... Unbelievable! Ditch her and don't look back, she is a complete user.
    via Doktor_Seagull
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    PetiteEmmaxx - 1d ago ΝΤΑ A favor for a favor is the basic currency of goodwill between neighbors. You've been the National Bank of Kindness, and when you finally needed to make a withdrawal, Bee's account was empty. It's not about breaking a promise; it's about balancing acts of human
    via PetiteEmmaxx
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    decency. You've gone above and beyond, particularly when injured and pregnant. Time to close the account and focus on your own family's needs without a shred of guilt. Your kid's safety and your wellbeing are priorities, and it's clear the current arrangement doesn't respect that
    via PetiteEmmaxx
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    LadyCass79. 1d ago Commander in Cheeks [228] ΝΤΑ When you recognize one of these folks that are very comfortable taking, always looking to grasp as much as possible but are unwilling to give, cut them out as much as possible and don't spend a moment feeling bad. As a giver, I've had to learn the hard way. Stick to your guns. Bee will always abuse kindness and end up wondering why no one wants to help her anymore.
    via LadyCass79
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    EJ 1004 23h ago Partassipant [1] ΝΤΑ If Bee can pick up her child and leave yours behind, after all the help and assistance, after the endless requests, after continuously taking advantage of you, then Bee can continue to get her child or make arrangements for them.
    via EJ_1004
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    She's making her problems your own while refusing to help you with yours. There is no deal to be honored, there was never a friendship involved. Bee is and always has been a user, stop letting her use you.
    via EJ_1004
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    Lunar-Eclipse0204 • 1d ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] NTA - Seriously, she was able to pick up her kid and after all the times you helped her, she can't help you. Yeah that was the deal breaker. She isn't struggling as much as you think, she is a user who uses the sob story of struggling for sympathy to get help from others - or at least that is how it appears.
    via Lunar-Eclipse0204
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    ladancer22 22h ago Partassipant [1] NTA. She's struggling and you want to help, I totally get that. But when you struggle not only does she not want to help, she actually goes out of her way to not help you. That's not a friend, that's not a neighbor, that's a user. You are being taken advantage of. If you can't rely on her to do small things to help you out why would you do big things to help her out?
    via ladancer22
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    Ok_Childhood_9774 23h ago Enthusiast [8] NTA. This woman has taken advantage of you and can't even be bothered to help out when given the opportunity. She definitely bit the hand that was feeding her, so now she has to figure things out for herself.
    via Ok_Childhood_9774
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    TwinZylander214 • 22h ago Partassipant [2] NTA and you are totally right not to be a doormat. Just make sure you explain the situation to your daughter in case Bee decides to start a war at school through her daughter. I think it's a teaching moment for Daisy too: do your best to help people but do not let yourself be used or abused.
    via TwinZylander214
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    the_greek_italian. 23h ago Partassipant [1] NTA. Bee is the one who originally went back on the deal that was made. She has no problem taking from you, and clearly has no problem making a pregnant, injured woman walk 40 minutes just to leave her and her kid stranded. At least your husband was on the way. Don't bother even helping Bee anymore.
    via the_greek_italian
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    shammy_dammy • 22h ago You've picked up a parasite. Time to brush it off. 49 9 ↓ ΝΤΑ Reply Share UnusuallyScented 22h ago Aficionado [11] You are being used. Stop communicating. ...
    via shammy_dammy
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    pettyplease314 • 21h ago Oh well, Bee can just "figure it out" from now on. NTA. ↑ 4 4 ↓ Reply ↑ Share ... Elizabeth_Sparrow 23h ago Partassipant [1] NTA. You have been used. No one wants a taker in their lives and you've been more than kind.
    via pettyplease314

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aita promise freeloading kids carpool motherhood moms driving reddit thread Reddit payback mom
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